Quote:
Originally Posted by bunnifoo
...Which makes me wonder if maybe I'm in denial about how severe my bipolar disorder is. I've only been hospitalized twice, I don't get mania. But I've never been able to complete college, I've struggled to hold down jobs, and the jobs have been those with very little responsibilities. As soon as the responbilities increase my stress levels go through the rough. I know I'm a terrible judge of how bad my anxiety is, I've learned that from talking with my pdoc about medicine and stuff.
So there's a lot going on and lots of questions and I hate the feeling.
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, bunnifoo, can relate. My psych was the one to suggest it, not even me(!) Yeah, talk about wondering how much denial. Fear, mislabeled as stubbornness, that really just boils down to denial. Because it's not that I haven't thought about it. A lot. It's just there's something about saying/admitting it. BF is on me about it. Obvious to others, it seems...
I hate that million questions/everything in the air feeling too...
Mood-wise, fine. Had to leave work this morning for being physically unwell though. Ignored the initial unprovoked dizziness spell at home, then at work it got to where it wouldn't let up and added thinking problems. BF had to pick me up. No way I was getting behind the wheel. (Shouldn't have earlier either -- just didn't know it. Made a bizarre driving error, but didn't connect the dots till afterward.)
Slept for hours. Thought it was ok, but standing for a bit proved otherwise. Not
as bad (thinking ok now), but will stay in rest mode, 'cause this thing (whatever it is!) needs to get GONE!
Have already decided that, should this linger into tomorrow, will call in to work (which is a standing job with an element of danger). Which is a pretty big self-care deal for me. Heck, deciding that it is even OK is a big deal!
