After the rape I was terrified at the idea of being rejected by guy based on what had happened. I ended up in an online relationship with someone I had never met in person.
He said I shouldn't tell anyone about the rape, which increased my insecurities. He was very clingy and didn't let me lead a normal lifestyle (he expected us to be chatting for 6-7 hours a day). It was after I ended things with him that I realised I have the power to heal myself. When I ended things with him he said I deserved to be raped.
I have become very selfish since then, I hope my family and friends can forgive me in the future.
I am from the countryside, so there are no rape survivors groups in my area. The good news is that I resumed my college studies last month. So hopefully that's a step forward.
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