Milly, I had that exact problem when I was 20, I'm 56 now and can tell you it does get better. You can't know what the future will bring and the changes it does bring will carry you away from these particular problems and make a good pattern in your life. I managed to graduate, barely, but couldn't have gone to grad school/become a "professional" to save my life but now I'm getting a second BA and will be going to grad school next year, when I can pay attention and will be really enjoy it (which wasn't the case then, just wanted school because it was there and the next thing, didn't know what else to do). It all works out well in the end. "Looking back" from only this far is awesome and so worth the mountain climbing; gouges, scrapes, bruises and a broken bone or two :-)