Hi Blue Bird,

I understand what you are feeling I get these urges to, but you dont have to do that. It doesnt sound like you have a very supportive family and Im sorry that they talk to you like that. Maybe you should try distancing your self from them, its not healthy to have that kind of negativity around you especially when you are trying to get better. Its good that you joined here so you can talk to people that have the same issues and support each other. Please feel free to message me anytime you want to talk, I know how you feel and trust me it gets a lot better.