I agree your wife is abusive and you've also reached a bad stage. Not sure what you did referring to this statement You've both come from abusive family backgrounds - she ended up turning into an assertive person and you went the other way, into a passive person. Spitting on a person is extremely disrespectful and her putting a knife on your chest is scary. You both need to figure out if this marriage is salvageable and get into counseling - to address how both family backgrounds contribute to your adult behavior. If you both aren't willing to do equal work then agree to separate. Sorry you're in this tough situation and I hope things get better.