I'll try to explain this as best as I possibly can.

I am an individual thinking of violence as a bad thing. I feel as all humans have a proper excuse for their own actions and I think they're good people but their actions are sometimes the bad thing. I feel like I can be a friend with anyone. I feel like love is an incredible feeling that can't be explained with psychology.

However...

I feel that violence is common for humans and if they want they can apply it to one another. I feel like all humans are always selfish creatures with no actual feeling of helping one another. I feel like I don't wanna be friend with most as I feel that the people I try to befriend will just use me for their own benefits. I feel like psychology is a great way to manipulate people and reach my goals.

With common sense, those 2 seem oddly opposite to one another. One would assume that such a thing is caused by major traumas from the past but I feel like I've had a mostly completely normal life so such a thing should not be happening. It seems to be an interesting case of me desiring 2 things, even if one contradicts the other. I like to deduce and induce but at the same time I feel like it's pointless to do so. I'm trying to somehow combine these two sides but I fear that by doing so, I may only cause mental damage to others. One would assume that with such thoughts, not much normal would occur but it truly isn't.

Possible theories that I can think of at this very moment are:
-Stress or overload from events occurring in life.
-Worrying about impossible events.
-Phobias and fears.
-Fear of ones own personal actions.
-Excitement about learning about how one individual works, but whilst doing so, getting attracted emotionally to him or her.
-Over-thinking about events or ways I've thought at certain events.
-Over-study of myself to understand my own psychology and logic better.

I suppose this is the best I can come up with at this very moment. However, with more opinions I may come to a decent conclusion, rather than just thinking of my own theories about it. While I think that I have better psychological and logical capabilities than people my age, I do feel like I am still not as ready to understand what is beyond my own limits.