I'm of two minds about this post. My first response was, who decides what's silly or what's worth crying about? Then I thought about my now deceased second husband, and how emotional he could be sometimes. He was the cry-at-the-movies type, and it didn't even have to be a sad movie. He cried watching Disney's "Beauty and the Beast," recalling how when he was younger, he didn't have a girlfriend, or even any friends, and thought it was because he was ugly. Never mind that he now had a *wife* sitting right there next to him. Those old feelings from the past came up, and he didn't care where he was, he'd cry. That wasn't the only movie. In fact, more movies made him cry than didn't. Even Jim Varney's "Ernest" movies would do it. Any time a character was a laughingstock, or lonely, or rejected in any way, bring on the waterworks. When we watched "Home Alone," in the early scenes where everybody was verbally abusing the Macaulay Culkin character, he had to leave the theater for a few minutes.

If we had an argument, he'd cry. If someone said something that hurt his feelings, he'd cry. If he was criticized or he thought someone was angry with him, he'd cry. Not merely tears, but sobbing and whole-body shaking. Even in public. Obviously he had some major emotional issues going on. His behavior was not normal for a grown man, or healthy. But there's a part of me that asks, who am I to call it "silly"? It didn't feel "silly" to him.

What I can't agree with is the statement that there is *nothing* wrong with not crying, or not feeling the need to cry. My present-and-forever husband is the case in point here. He is emotionally cut off to the extreme. I have asked him, "How would you feel if...," and he didn't comprehend the question. He kept answering what he would do if that situation happened, not what he would *feel.* If I ask him about a real, not hypothetical situation, "How did you feel when...," again he answers with what action he took, not what emotion he felt. He is incapable of recognizing or giving a name to an emotion. It's the same with mine. He can't tell when I'm merely expressing a feeling, or having a psychiatric meltdown. Therefore any time I cry, for any reason, his automatic response is to ask me if I need the doctor.

Until his cat died, I wondered if he had lost his ability to show emotions. Before that, I'd seen him lose both grandmothers within six months of each other, and then a dearly beloved uncle shortly after that. No reaction. Not even a bowed head or a sigh. Having been there myself, I'd say there's plenty wrong with that. I now suspect he may have cried privately, just didn't let me see it, and I think that's OK. By the time the cat died, he trusted me enough to let me see it. No drama, just a few quiet tears, and it touched my heart. I loved him for it. I loved him for loving the cat so much. And I appreciated his trust, letting me into his inner world like that.

Probably balance is the thing. A man shouldn't hold it back, but he should control it. So should a woman.