Don't beat yourself up, Mr. Radio. Socializing is tough when you aren't in a comfort zone. I am sure that these friends and others have probably forgotten the whole outburst since alcohol was involved. It is typical that all of us have socializing problems, no matter what age, or what circumstances. I was just telling my husband that he needs to get the back of the house lights working so that we can invite people over. His comment was along the lines of who would I invite? I got peeved, but truthfully I am always looking for excuses not to socialize, but I really want friends!
Good luck, and with practice I think it will get easier.
Bluemountains