Honestly wheresxenon, you've got a lot more to worry about than what your sister is doing with her own life. It isn't "weaker" to be polite, respectful, and considerate.

It doesn't matter if she swears too - if you're worried/angry at how she's living her life, the best way to demonstrate that is to be RESPECTFUL to her which you aren't when you're swearing like that. If she swears too? Then she is also not being respectful, but it doesn't mean that you should continue it. One of you has to step up and start treating the other with respect.

It sounds like, just from your posts (and do remember here that I only know the things you've posted, which is a great deal less than what your life situation is!) that you've got a much bigger issue than your sister does.

Why is it your sister's job to help your family out? How does she ignore that your house is in debt? There isn't anything she could do about that, and if she's financing her own life then that's all that she needs to be doing. If you are financing her life then you should stop doing that because you need to take care of your family first. But it seems like you want your sister to be working to pay off your house? You need to give up the expectation that your sister will help out more than just listening to you - it is not her responsibility to help you get out of whatever situation you're in! Sure, it would be nice if she was able to come in and fix all your problems, but that isn't realistic.

Just because she can continue her life 'normally' doesn't mean anything. My life went on perfectly normally for years and then I overdosed. My life then went almost immediately back to normal and then guess what? I overdosed many other times, and no one knew. I worked very hard to appear normal. And if your sister has gotten herself a boyfriend? You should be happy for that - it means she's taking steps forward in life.

Like if you're in all that money trouble, what are you doing buying food for her? Stop buying food for her. She can manage on her own as that's her responsibility as she is an adult.

Again - if you want to have a healthy relationship with your sister, YOU will need to change your attitude towards her and the entire situation. (I would be telling her the same thing if she was on this forum btw, it's a two-way street).

You said in your first post that you want your sister back. You won't get her back if you act the way you have in this thread in real-life. You come off as someone who is controlling, who is blaming others for your own problems, who is making excuses for their own poor behaviour, who isn't taking responsibility for their own role, etc. I'm very sorry if you disagree, but I only see what you've posted in this thread and the tone of everything you've said is so very negative.

You simply have got to change if you're wanting to have a healthy relationship with your sister. The more you change, the more likely you are to see her start to change too. If you stop trying to tell her how to live her life and what she should or should not be doing, the more likely she is to start considering the things that you say or to start making changes on her own.

She might very well refuse to eat the healthy veg when you're around simply because she doesn't want to feed your ego (because then you see, that would mean that you've won and that you're right and that would only make you continue to see yourself as right all the time).

It might take a while before your sister starts to respond to any changes you make - because it would seem fake for a loooong time and she likely doesn't trust you to not be manipulating her. (Again - this is purely based off of the few things that you've said in this thread, so I am very aware that I'm reaching here!). I'd have an honest chat with her along the lines of "Look, I know we've got a pretty crap relationship. I don't like what you're doing with your life, but I am going to stop trying to change you. I think we should try to be respectful to each other and not swear, and I need you to know that I'm trying to do this because I care about you and don't want to lose you. If you want my advice on something I will gladly talk it over with you, but if I start telling you what to do please let me know and we'll stop that conversation. I need your help too, because my life isn't in a very good place and it'd be really nice to know that I have you around to listen to me." and other such things along that line.

And quite frankly... it doesn't matter how bad things get, there's never an excuse to be disrespectful to someone.

Anyway. I'm sure you're offended by this and I do apologize for that, but I hope that you can at least take SOMETHING away from it and try to change the way that you interact with your sister.