I'm so glad your eyes were opened! I have been in a similar situation so I can understand where you're coming from. I thought I deserved it in my relationship because I had been verbally and physically abusive with him within the first year but I got therapy and changed. He did not. He ended up breaking up with me which I guess was a blessing in disguise. He wanted me back but by then I had moved out and I said no even though I still love him. Hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Behavior like that is never acceptable even if it's less extreme than what some people go through. I used to think that what I went through wasn't that bad because it didn't happen every day and I never ended up with more than a couple bruises, but honestly the emotional abuse was harmful enough and it's going to take years of therapy for me to work through.

Please stay safe and I would do what riotgrrrl said and move when he isn't there. Maybe you can have someone else come with you too just in case. When I moved I had my dad come with me and I made sure my ex didn't know where I was moving to just in case.

Good luck with your new man! I hope it works out for you and you get the love you deserve.