I think your tool of self-gratification is the following: you enjoy getting a lot of people peeved by your seemingly endless stubbornness. So you keep complaining that you feel bad when or after masturbating and lots of people go to great lengths trying to explain to you that you should stop feeling bad both when and after masturbating and - end of story. Just stop feeling bad once and for all.

In response to all this outpouring of reassurance from your well-wishers, you said (paraphrasing): "Oh, this does not work. this sets me up for addiction. I need to hear a stern, oppressive message, which, even though untrue, would help me keep my masturbation in check."

OK, so if you need to hear that message, go somewhere else to hear it. I am sure that the internet (which has basically everything) has a forum for people who believe that masturbation causes severe mental decline and, ultimately, a slow, torture-like death at a young age. So go there and ask for the message you want to hear, OK? What you have been doing on this forum is a reversed intellectual gang rape - reversed in that one person rapes a whole lot of people intellectually by trying to get them to say something that they would not say on their own volition and exercising their free will.