Quote:
Originally Posted by jkbob
Do you know the feeling of being completely overwhelmed with emotions to the point where you know that if just one more thing is added to the whole mix you'll come completely unhinged?
Maybe it's just me. I've been in this place a few times in my life and it's always been when I make my worst decisions. I become needy and angry and scared and desperate and feel like I'm falling a part. I feel like I can't breathe.
What do you do? How do you get through this? What if I do fall a part, will I know? If I am about to go crazy I need to make sure my kids are taken care of. Are there warning signs?
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The warning signs are probably different for everyone. For me, it's small noticeable differences in my patterns of thinking. Things for me tend to be the worse at night and this is the time I'm more likely to....
a. self harm
b. attempt suicide
c. become overwhelmed by emotions
d. send stupid emails to my therapist
Changes in my thinking are....
a. Thinking more and more about if I should self harm and how
b. Things begin to snowball in my mind (ex. I'm not where I want to be career-wise and I have to be secure in my career before I can think about a relationship and children, but I'm getting older and time is running out.....but there are all these obstacles because of my past and nothing is ever going to change so I should just kill myself.....so what do I need to do to get everything in order, should I just stop going to therapy and get off meds since there isn't any point now.....etc etc.)
c. It gets harder and harder to stop myself from those snowballing thoughts. First they start off harmlessly and I can bat them away, but more and more it becomes something I can't control.
d. I isolate even more.
e. I spend more time in bed.
f. I leave the house less.
g. I start to feel like I'm out of control.