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Jun 22, 2013, 07:25 PM
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Member Since: Jun 2013
Posts: 93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
Maybe, staying not under the same roof, is a good idea, until you get the therapy necessary to move past the assault.
Worrying about safe words, well, it's fine time to create some. And communicating with a partner that it's an Ambien night, isn't a bad idea, either. It's supposed to help one fall asleep, not necessarily stay asleep unless extended release. And honestly, he needed to respect that you are taking a sleeping pill.
Perhaps, mention to your pdoc, that the ambien isn't helping you stay asleep and you are having the side effect of talking and being awake while on it, isn't far fetched, it's not made for everyone. ((there's a reason why it's called the date rape drug, and people out there voice concern when they hear that someone is using it.))
You need to feel safe when you sleep.
How to get over this? Not sure. A good amount of time in therapy, and then ask yourself, if moving on, is what you want. Time apart, because he doesn't respect you when you are in a vulnerable position.
And if you are going to entertain the rougher side of life, time to sort through those boundaries....i.e., safewords!!!! (or even if not a word, a specific physical gesture. need to be able to trust the partner you are travelling that lifestyle with)
How long have you been together with him?
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We were together for almost four years, engaged for two. We're broken up now and we live separately with zero contact. I told him to contact me in a month if he wanted to for closure to try again but that would be two weeks from now and I still don't know what to do or how in the hell we'd be able to work through this. And I have no idea what he's doing or thinking right now either. For all I know he won't call. I did talk to my psychiatrist about the Ambien and I am on a different sleeping pill that so far hasn't had any ill effects on me. I just go to sleep like a normal person. I don't know if I'm going to answer the phone if he calls. I still love him but I can't be around him if he can't even show empathy for me and I certainly can't be with him if he won't get his problems with his own past and the thing with his stepfather. I don't know if we would ever have a chance again because there's so much baggage between us now and the time apart could be good and healthy or it could add more problems. I don't know. It's just so hard for me to let him go because I love him so much.
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