I have been thought to have PDD-NOS since 1987 & AS since 1996. I feel I am ready to be in a relationship, but I'm afraid I don't have enough to offer in a relationship. Another person gave me this idea with the lecture he/she wrote here:

The Childfree Life • View topic - considering returning to Catholicism (LONG!)

After the discussion with that other person, I have had a lot of distress all afternoon. My headache still is not gone, so obviously my blood pressure is still up. I will relax when I can. I cannot calm down on another's whim. Every upset has to run its course.

I have a long history of being deemed unemployable by vocational rehabilitation agencies like Goodwill. Currently, Goodwill is forcing me to wait until SCCO has done my visual evoked potentials test. SCCO keeps on delaying the test, so I'm screwed until Goodwill wants to let me in. Even then, I cannot guarantee that I'll ever have a job. If I manage to get one, I will only make minimum wage, bringing the total of my reduced disability checks plus earned income to around $1,100/month. Paying over $700/month for rent plus electricity certainly won't leave me with enough for entertainment. I certainly won't be able to fulfill the demands of a lady who demands her prospective partner have both a job AND a car. I found several like that on dating sites. Before recommending volunteering, please read what I said about that on the abovementioned page.

All the reading school would require would be way too much stress because I am only minimally literate. There are too many words for me to miss in all those walls of text in college textbooks. My Deaf Studies Certificate from Cincinnati State College does not entitle me to any certain kind of job, therefore it doesn't even count. But I will NEVER go back to college.

All my blood relatives live back east. I come from a very dysfunctional family that is not worth living near.

Everyone I try to meet seems alienated by the facts that I have no family here, am not in school, and lack of employment. I know I must be not-more-than-friends before trying to get intimate. But I miss cuddling. I even got sterilized & confirmed sterile cuz I NEVER want children, NEVER even just one.