Unfortunately, I guess, my scars are not a deterrent to me. They make me sad most of the time, that I felt so bad I had to resort to that -- but it doesn't stop me from feeling bad enough to want to do some more.

I'm in a really bad self-loathing phase right now and I seriously just don't give a damn what I do to myself, because I totally don't matter to myself. I look in the mirror and loathe every cell, and so why should I take care of myself? It doesn't matter. The more I try to self-destruct, the more I hate myself, and it goes on and on till the only way I know how to get rid of it is to hurt on the outside as much as I hurt on the inside.