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It's a really difficult decision to decide that you should apply for disability, and that it is best for your health to not be working right now.
I think that is something to be proud of, not something to make you feel like a failure! You certainly are not a failure!
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..."
"I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am.
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