Hi People,
Just an update to let you know that I have spoken with a therapist regarding this issue and although the problem is a long way from being resolved I did receive some interesting and thought provoking information.
Firstly, it was brought to my attention that my son does not have privacy as such. His bedroom does not have a lock on the door and people (myself, dad, grandmother, etc) enter his room at will. This would be one reason why he is locking himself in the bathroom for so long and running the shower to give the impression that he is washing himself. Makes sense to me. I had never really considered the privacy issue but it made me think back and remember what I was like at the same age and how privacy was very important. I am hoping to change this somehow so that he can feel safe and secure in his bedroom and hopefully not resort to using the bathroom.
Secondly, masturbation is normal but it is possible that my son is using it as a self soothing behavior as a result of the dysfunctional and emotionally abusive environment he has and still is subjected to due to his father being a narcissist. Again this makes sense.
Unfortunately my son does not have a very good relationship with his father and probably never will because of his personality disorder. He and I will be going to therapy together to address some of the issues. Unfortunately my son is not in touch with his own emotions and feelings and keeps them bottled up inside which then creates a pressure cooker explosive type of reaction when he feels overwhelmed. I don't have a problem with the fact that he masturbates but I have a problem with the running of a shower and use of electricity for over 1 hour every day, so hopefully we can sort that out and by doing that we will also resolve a lot of other secondary issues.