You could have been dissociative. Because of severe child abuse (I was under the protection of Child Protective Services during a time when only the most extreme abuse cases were cared about) yet I have no clear memories. I do have my medical records, court records, and CPS records. They fill in the gaps. My bipolar disorder doesn't help. Cognitive impairment is a symptom, especially in severe mania and psychosis. The prefrontal cortex essentially becomes anesthetized, making higher level cognitive processes impossible.