Hi Jenn! I'm glad you're feeling better. One thing I did to help me when I was debating whether or not to call was to ask my therapist exactly when it's appropriate. That helped a lot.
If you are having a hard time not cutting yourself, you are in crisis. The last time I went to the hospital and the nurse was asking me if I was suicidal, I told her no, I 'just" wanted to cut myself. She said they consider that suicidal because people do end up killing themselves even though that wasn't their intention. She told me she had seen it many times. That really stuck with me. It broke through my denial that cutting myself wasn't a big deal. It is. The other thing I try to remind myself is that hurting myself is just a continuation of the abuse that was inflicted on me. No one deserves to be hurt that way. We are all precious.
Have they thought about increasing your meds? What you described sounds a lot like I am when my meds need to be adjusted. I am glad you're feeling better. I'm also sorry about the calling your husband at work thing. That must have been very hard to hear. I'm glad talking with him made it better. I care about you and hope you continue to feel better. If not share away! Annie