I put the trigger warning on because I know others get panicky about the thought of ending therapy, and having to separate from their Ts.

Blur brought up individuation in my thread about my dreams. I know that I never completely separated from my Mom, and then she died. I know that while I was growing up she didn't make me feel safe or competent to explore the world, to make mistakes, to take risks. I still don't know who I am, and wonder if it's too late to find out. My H hasn't allowed me individuation either; I married him and then HE took care of me like my Mom used to do.

All my Ts have talked about this to some extent because it's part of the reason I don't want to quit therapy. They've all tried to encourage me to take risks in order to have a better quality of life.

I've progressed a lot in some areas, but I still panic at separating from my T. Now my H says I am NOT going to see her monthly when I quit. Of course he says things that he doesn't mean, and I know I can do what I want, but I'm trying to have a better marriage so I don't want to ignore his wishes about therapy (which I've done for about 18 years by continuing in spite of his opinion). He says I have 6 months to separate from my T.

So, I know I'm going to be discussing it with my T. She's already helping me by telling me not to email her, encouraging me to "live life", and telling me the SE is going to help. But is it going to work, or will I be miserable in the end? I don't know HOW to separate emotionally from her. I don't want to separate from her.

I know that the answer depends on making my real life more important, and getting my needs met by people in my life. But a T is special! No one is going to be like her.

So, how does someone successfully separate from their T? You're supposed to do it when you're ready, but I'm never ready. I'm getting there, but I don't think I'll ever be really READY to stop seeing her. This is causing me to panic already, and I'm trying to calm down and tell myself there's plenty of time left.