I'm having some really dark thoughts like that I don't want to be here anymore. I don't have any way to act on them, but I just wish that my life were in a better spot so that I wouldn't have these thoughts. I don't have any joy; I just wake up, go to work (or, if I'm not working, go back to sleep again or watch TV) and then come home again and go to bed. Being around the very, very few friends I have does not bring happiness. I see my life in shades of gray, yet I don't feel depressed. I must be though. This just...sucks. I want to feel like a regular, happy, non-anxious, non-depressed person again.