Quote:
Originally Posted by brokenwings79
The phrase I have commonly used to describe my life is, "Same crap, different day". My fiance tells the kids they are slacking on their chores and I immediately feel it churning inside. What I heard him say was that I am not cleaning enough and failing as a mom because their chores are not done. Defenses go up and I begin making excuses about something that was never about me. How did I hear so clearly what you never even said? It is so up and down and back and forth.....all just one day and it is just beginning. And I know that tomorrow it will all start again.
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Thank you for sharing, this is a tough situation to find yourself in day after day. I know, I have done the same sort of stuff with my wife. On the other hand though, I have learned that dealing with my BPD symptoms and actions requires small steps.
It sounds to me that you may have already started to take those steps without even realizing it. You recognize the fact that his statement had nothing to do with you. That is one of the bigger small steps, regardless of when you recognized it.
I have done the same sort of thing, but instead of making excuses for myself, I lash out. For me, I apologize after I realize that how I reacted was because of the BPD. Over time, the amount of time between my reaction and the apology has shortened. Very rarely, but, sometimes, I even stop the reaction before it leaves my mouth. It takes time, but it is possible. I know that it is frustrating while you are in the midst of this, but if a lout like me can see some positive results, then I believe that you can too.