I've not had a good day. I had nightmares this morning (the one time I'm allowed to sleep in til 9, ugh), then I was woken up so I could clean up after the family breakfast (which means everyone else, not me, there were no leftovers but I got other food later myself). My stepdad made a couple comments about what a wonderful breakfast it was and I don't know why but I just felt this wave of anger and stabbed at my arm with a straw I was holding when no one was looking. It hurt enough that I was nervous it would bruise, but all it did was leave a few little scratches on my arm that only sting if I touch them. Then my stepdad started complaining about my lack of a job and I went to get my computer to start applying (which I've been doing) and he said I was "spazzing like [you] always do." And me and my girlfriend got into an argument because she keeps saying my mom is a ***** and that I'm being abused and my stepdad is chewing really loud and everyone thinks I'm a lazy loser and they're right but I feel bad being reminded about it... And then just as my gf was feeling better I had to be a huge ****ing baby and get all whiny again and GOD I JUST HATE MY SELF.

I'm just whining right now but I need to vent because it keeps my hands busy before I scalp myself or hurt myself and I have no one I can trust to talk to...