Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom
do you mind me asking what was your primary reason of seeing your therapist? I think the best thing is to make a plan of how you can Replace what you doing therapy.if you usually use your therapist as a sounding board to help you figure out better solutions for your problem you may want to look into journaling or self help books. you may want to find groups that's a no cost like a a but for different reasons. I would suggest keeping your time slot that you use for therapy to use for yourself after you finish therapy. you could also look for therapist that accepts your new insurance or is that on a sliding scale. you really need to sit down with your husband and explain why therapy is so important for you.
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No, I don't mind the question but it's not so simple to answer it!
Back in 1983, the reason was probably that I was depressed about a number of things in my life: my Mom had died recently, I had infertility problems, I was unhappy in general, and my best friend suggested I talk to someone. I was diagnosed with BPD, enough of a reason to need therapy! The reason I went from T to T was that I didn't want to give up the experience of having someone there just for me. I still had a lot of issues relating to low self-esteem, marriage, friends, depression, anxiety, etc. There was never one main reason. I wanted to learn about myself and feel better.
I'm not going to seek out another T after this one. My H knows why therapy is important to me. That's the problem. At least now it is. I've worked on my issues with Ts long enough. The attachment is the main reason I can't leave. The rest of your suggestions are good ones, and I thank you very much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by just_some_girl
Rainbow, you know I relate to some of the issues you're having - with therapy, with T, with individuation...
But sometimes it seems your focus is so much on that... and I don't mean to sound harsh when I say this, but considering your posts and feelings lately - for instance the feelings of jealousy around your T's divorce - do you think the bigger issue could be your unhappiness in your marriage? I just feel that you should be doing things that you feel are right for YOU, not just to keep the peace with your husband... a husband who I think I'm right in remembering you've said does not give you what you need (emotionally and/or...)
It has taken you a lot of effort to get to where you are.. I'd just hate for you to have to pull the plug - on someone else's say so - just when you're getting somewhere.
Hope I'm not out of line, I just care about you  |
Thanks, jsg. That's why I'm working on my marriage--to make it happier for both my H and myself. He gives me some of what I need, and the rest I have to get elsewhere. If he weren't around now, my life would be in chaos!
I have to believe that I can accomplish a lot in the next 6 months, both in therapy and outside. I was the kind of student who wrote my compositions in the morning of the day they were due, and got A's. I procrastinate until someone yells "Fire!" at me! So, maybe it's a good thing this is happening to me. It's a change from all my years of therapy.
Thanks for saying I'm getting somewhere.
I think I'm getting somewhere BECAUSE my attitude, somewhat forced upon me by my T, is that she can never be who I want her to be, our relationship, as close as I may think it is, is only a
business one (boy, it stings to right THAT word), and that her stated goal (and mine too, 3 years ago), is to enable me to leave her and live my day to day life without her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Littlemeinside
Perhaps you can bring this up in your DBT group?
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Thanks, littleme. Yes, I can. I already used screaming in the car for my check-in last time. Now we have a new DBT leader but she's good, so hopefully this subject will fit in somewhere. The thing about DBT is that it's a skills class, so I just can't go in and discuss my problem with separating from my T unless it's relevant or unless it's specifically triggering me that week.