Finding respect from your lover. I hope you stay happy alone. Alone is basically what we are anyway and that is the state we are most in weather we share the turf with our mate or not. So loving being on your own is it.

But if you get real lucky and learn to have it all, you still have to conduct the days like a concert. Sometimes the music is rocking during the day and getting intense and then there is mysterious smoke and dramatic light shows, than some fire works and loud undulating sounds, some are shrill but than later there's you running to the bathroom to pee, and a bunch of people in line uncomfortable like you, than youre all off for some more fun but than all of a sudden everybody gets is acting ragged and needs to rest for two days., but throws things first, thats the time 5,000 cars are trying to leave the concert parking lot! Finally boring everyday life comes back in view and you're home and laundry aint done and mostly that's what we are given but all and all learning to share and have some fun together when we can, eating, resting, traveling and doing our own bender adventrues, because one of us recuperates from the concert first and tip toes around in consideration for the others who have smile on their sleeping faces but it makes it all worth it. It can't be dependent on anything, just change change change and respect, respect and respect for yourself and others, with lots of rest.

I was in some abusive homes with my kids and marriges, but it can work if I step back. That's one thing I learned more about when I hit 40. I finally been getting a better feel for driving my car and now my life, remembering the two steps forward two steps back, especially to step back, when I'm behind the wheel.. It's a road trip. It reminds me of a road trip to me of getting along and keeping it real and keeping it compassionite. I have to keep reminding myself to walk in the other person's moccicens and than all goes real well. I think of the symphonies and how they have the parts of it divided up with different types of sounds in the one total piece. It's the exposition, the rondo and the smoother motif than back to the exposition again and try to allow for changing gears with people I'm around, remembering they might need cue to change gears too and me to change than when I honestly see I need to shift up or down, thinking life ought to be more like a symphony (now that I am getting older, I am starting to appreciate them because when I was younger I only did rock) or I step back and breathe good while I treat life more like a long cross country drive trip, (every now and than checking to see if I have my emergency kit in the back, extra odds and ends and rest on the side of the road and if I breathe in and out and hang in there and than carry on when I can some more