This does sound a lot like what hypomania is to me. Sometimes it can be good, sometimes it can be good.

There's also an ugly kind of hypomania where I can't organize my thoughts to save my life. I start projects (even small stupid ones like laundry or vacuuming) and I get distracted before I can finish. (Today! One of those days!)

But the good kind of hypomania... I think of it as my muse. I also like to consider myself an artist. And I'll write more or paint more or start a scrapbook.

In general, it's literally like having multiple trains of thought going on at exact the same time. They're all running through my head that sometimes, just to talk it's like picking out random words that I'm hearing go through my head from one of the trains of thought. I'm sure that doesn't makes sense.

Why is the "bipolar" diagnosis terrifying to you?

To me, there's several people "upstairs". And each one is truly a different person. It's lead to a series of identity crises in my life. (Pretty much since I've been about 13... really.) That rational, logical one was beaten into submission a LONG time ago.