Ok, so long story . . .
My brother come in to visit the family and despite my wanting to stay home to myself as I have been of late, I went to my sister's a couple of days. During this time the subject came up of going to the beach. First problem: they didn't want to invite mom and dad because of their health. I understand the concern, but I would have no part of it. I didn't want to be a part of hurting them. They are perfectly capable of deciding if they were up to it. The invitation is kind of like a card, it let's people know you were thought of. Before that was settled it was a matter of who could go when. I stated that the part of family that could go early could be met up by the ppl who couldn't come till later. That way the ones who needed to be home earlier would still get to spend some time with the family. I even said if mom and dad came I would drive them home early if need be cause of the heat. The last thing brought was it was suppose to be storming. The plan was to go on Saturday. Well last I heard nothing was decided, that was on Thursday. Friday I wasn't up to getting out of the house, tom much stress is a trigger for me and well my family is a major trigger they just don't know it. So anyway my son asked if we were going to the beach Friday evening and I didn't know anything soI told him to call. First he called my brother-in-law and he told him to call someone else. He then proceeded to call both my sisters and my brother. I kinda got a clue then that they were going but they were planning to go late (just my thoughts). I know by some off the wall chance it was a coincidence, but my brain doesn't shut up when it comes to thinking the worse. I was a little annoyed, but just let it ride. No-one ever called back. Now my husband works nights so they know he sleeps during the day. 1:00 saturday my sister comes over and says they are going to the beach. I took it as right shortly thus forth I had no time to go to the store. Asked her if they invited my parents and she said yes, the night before. Now I am hurt deeply and angry that no-one could have gave me the courtesy of a heads up. This is where I'm at; I had plans for that evening with my husband so I just didn't want to cut out and leave a note. I just didn't feel that was right. I felt kind of cut out in a round about way. I was hurt, which turned into depression (which I am still fighting now). So yes I admit it was wrong of me not to come to the door that night when my sister and sister-in-law came, but I knew if I did I might have regret saying something (I was also drinking at the time). Basically things just escalated from there. I really didn't feel welcome by my family to the whole dinner thing. My sister in law left me a message on facebook about it which I got a little while after it was suppose to start, so I just didn't go. I am so tired of feeling like my feelings mean nothing. This is just the tip of an iceberg that I have dealt with my entire life. I have always been the one to bend over backwards to make things better even if it didn't involve me. I'm just not together enough to let go this time. I have cried for the last two days and no-one has made an effort to give a reason as to why. When I ask I just get excuses.

Sorry for the long spill, I guess it is just me being an emotional *****. I still can't shake the heart wrenching pain.