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Jun 24, 2013, 03:49 AM
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Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 394
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ultramar
Maybe she feels that you are, at this stage in therapy and in life, better able to tolerate not receiving such reassurance between sessions (and tolerate certainly doesn't mean easy). Reassurance can be necessary during some stages in therapy, but at some point I think one of the goals is for the patient to be able hold onto the comforting feelings from therapy when the therapist is not present (either in person or via e-mail). Though I think if she is instituting this change, it would have been better to discuss it with you first. It's hard to tell, though, if she's doing this 'on purpose' or not. Either way, I don't think there's anything punitive going on here, though it may seem like it.
I think also that in some cases (certainly not all) receiving reassurance whenever it is sought (instead of say, only in certain situations, crises, etc.) can be counterproductive --this is where I think need versus want needs to be explored in therapy, what will best help long-term versus short-term. Receiving replies to every e-mail of course will make you feel better in the short-term (though the comfort may be short-lived), but there are long-term goals to be considered -basically what miswimmy pointed out, amongst other things.
I think the more you e-mail her and she doesn't reply, the more hurt you will feel. I know it's hard, but I really think you need to bring this up with her. I doubt your therapist will be surprised or punitive about your feelings, they are perfectly understandable. But this will just continue as is if you do not bring it up and explore it in therapy.
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Thank you. I appreciate the response and that does make alot of sense. But you are exactly right when you say she should have discussed it with me if she wanted to do things differently. I am now left feeling I did something wrong to make her stop replying. I don't even mind if she would prefer not to do that if she thinks it's better for me or I am stronger now, but she needs to tell me!
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