About this time last year I received my diagnosis. Mood disorder, bipolar 2. Tonight I saw the guy that caused such a catastrophic trigger that I was at a bridge several times and a knife to cut myself once. He's the reason i sought professional help to begin with. A year later I saw him again and had this overwhelming desire to hurt him. I would have been have been banned from the club at the least, arrested at the most. Now I'm on my way home ready to turn that destruction on myself. Good thing I'm not alone on the bus. Is there not a med that turns you totally numb so you never feel?