I wish it wasn't so strong... I wish I could do it without getting in trouble. I wish... ugh! I wish it wasn't like this horribly addictive drug. One slip, and it invades my brain like a virus, spreading hard and fast. It's all I want and I push the limits of safety with it. The more I do it, the more I think I can do it without managing to cross the line. But I'm afraid I will always cross the line into needing more and more until it's too dangerous to do. And no one gets it. They just want to take it away from me. They want to take all my escapes away from me. If I could live in a void where I get to self-harm without anyone finding out or stopping me, I would do it. I would drop the rest of my life for it, it's that bad of a drug. And it's instantly addicting.