Thanks for the responses, food for thought.

Feralkittymom, that's an interesting point re ending the engagement by apologizing, I do often feel when I get reassured by someone (or when I over-apologize about something) that that's the end of the matter and I have to move on. Even though the over-apologizing usually means that I really need to explore something. When T makes me think about why I am apologizing, as much as I hate it, I usually find that I have taken blame for something that is either not blame/shame worthy or which actually is not my fault. So yeah, that's been really helpful.

BlessedRhiannon I think that's a great thing that you can ask your T for reassurance when you need it! And that she helps you if you are feeling insecure. To be fair, mine has reassured me on one occasion that things were fine between us, only when I said something so huge and embarrassing that I wanted to run away. But there have been times (quite a few) when I've said something full on and I say "You must think I'm weird", and she doesn't say "No I don't". Instead she asks me why I think she thinks I'm weird and usually what comes out of that is that it's me who thinks I'm weird, and she is far more compassionate to me than I am to myself. So then I get thinking as to why I am being so hard on myself. Usually then she says something like "how do you feel using words like brave, or resilient, or smart, to describe yourself instead?", and whilst I always at that at first, I start to realize that maybe I am actually those things rather than just weird. Maybe.

Well that was a bit of a convoluted description, but maybe it made sense