
Jun 24, 2013, 01:26 PM
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Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: California
Posts: 2,248
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiablue
I think we need to be careful of the words we are using here. To me "grooming" is a very loaded word which suggests criminal activity, deliberately abusive behaviour and of a power differential which is similar to that of a defenseless child against an adult.
This is not the case here. MLS is not a defenseless child and her therapist is not grooming her. Her therapist is not knowingly hurting her. She may have questionable methods or boundaries which are not clear to MLS or us from the info we have and i agree this is something MLS needs to sort out with her but i think we need to keep it in perspective.
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I understand, I thnk, your reticence to describe something with crimnal connotations. However I think I disagree with your position, although not your concerns.
I first used the word GROOMING. In this case I do not know if we are talking about illegal or unethical behavior (I think grooming can occur wtihout criminal acts - this may be a disagreement in our definitions). I said I was WONDERING about it, that I would be thinking about it if I was in that position. I didn't say she WAS grooming, but I don't know that it wasn't either. This is perhaps where we diverge.
Grooming is rarely illegal, it is the purposes for which grooming occurs that is often illegal. I would certainly be concerned if I observed grooming behavior even if no illegal, immoral or unethical had been noted yet.
I do not know if the T is intentionally hurting Cl to meet T's needs, unintentionally hurting Cl to meet T's needs, or isn't hurting Cl at all.
I agree with you, I think, in being reticent to label the T as abusive, or even involved in grooming behavior. I don't know. I think being concerned about it is reasonable. And perhaps where we disagree, I can't rule it out
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