I think Peaches is right about addressing these things with your T. However, from what I understand, your T didn't LIE; she never said that she didn't know your gf. She simply didn't say "hey, I know her!" when you started discussing your gf. If this is the case, then did what she is SUPPOSED to do. Ts are not supposed to tell you that they know the people you are discussing for confidentiality reasons.

While I fully agree that showing you explicit photos is weird and I have no idea what therapeutic purpose they were supposed to serve. However, I don't think it's possible to say that you had no ability to say "no, I do not want to see those." You're an adult and you're in therapy voluntarily so, once you saw that the photos were explicit, you had the option to say "T, I would rather not look at those photos" or "why do you want me to look at those?" or "those photos are making me uncomfortable, I'd like to stop." I fully agree that it would be better if T had not put you in that awkward situation. However, once you were there, with the photos, you did have the option of telling her that you were uncomfortable and that you didn't understand why she was showing them to you.

The reason I bring this up is because (from reading your posts over a long period of time) it seems that you've been in a lot of situations in which the other person (your last 2 gfs, in particular) stepped over your boundaries and did hurtful things to you, and you didn't stand up for yourself. This seems to be a pattern for you. You recognize that someone is stepping over your boundaries, and you are upset by it, but you don't tell the other person to stop or you have a very difficult time leaving the situation (or wait until the other person chooses to leave). I know how difficult it is to assert yourself when you feel like the other person has more power in the situation, or you are used to having your boundaries violated. I know because I used to have the same problem; learning confrontation has been difficult for me, too! However, I've learned that I do have the power to say "no" or "that makes me uncomfortable" or "you're crossing my boundaries, would you please stop." What I've learned is that, at least half of the time, the other person has NO IDEA that what they are doing is violating your boundaries. If you simply tell them, they will stop. If they don't-- that's when you know you have a problem. That's when you know that the other person is intentionally violating your boundaries, is being abusive, or is doing "grooming" behavior.

Since you've said many times that you like your T and think your T has been helpful to you, I think it's worth giving her the opportunity to explain why she's using these strategies, tell her they are not helpful for you and are making you uncomfortable, and give her the chance to stop them and adopt strategies that may be helpful for you. From reading your posts since you began with this T, I just don't think that she is "grooming" you. I don't think she is trying to hurt you. I think she might not be the most highly trained T and I think she is definitely out of her element when it comes to sexuality/lesbian issues. However, I really do think she has good intentions. I think if she knew that you felt this way, she would work differently with you. But, if you don't give her that chance, you'll never know and you will continue to be uncomfortable in therapy.

In the event that your T was grooming you, I would still give you the same advice of talking to your T. Since you are an adult and you are in therapy voluntarily, if your T was grooming you (and reacted badly when you asked why she was using these strategies), you would have the option of leaving your T. Why would you stay in therapy with someone that was grooming you, and who you felt too afraid to confront? You clearly would not have productive therapy if that were the case. So, I see no down side at all to talking to your T, expressing your discomfort, and asking for her reasoning behind her strategies.

I also think it's possible to give the T the benefit of this conversation because, if I explained in a post some of the things I've discussed with my T, or some of the strategies we have used, they might sound "weird" or "inappropriate" out of context-- but make a lot of sense and are appropriate in context. Since we have no idea why T is using what seem like odd strategies, I think it's worth asking "why" before we automatically label them as "grooming" or "abusive." If the explanation makes no sense or is "creepy" then we can go ahead and label away...