Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycanthrope
A lot of women will say they don't mind a man crying but often if it happens many of them say how uncomfortable it felt.
Men don't cry as often, and a lot of that is because of hormones. The higher the testosterone, the less likely for the person to cry. So therefore, a man who cries often has less testosterone, and therefore weaker genetics, and therefore less attractive to the female because he is seen as low status and weak.
We're often told that men don't cry as often because crying is viewed by society as a weakness. That maybe so, but once again, isn't that the natural order of things?
Therefore, I view a man not needing to cry as not always a sign of a problem. A high testosterone male will find it difficult, if not almost impossible to cry. As he gets older, his testosterone lowers, his urge to cry becomes prominent.
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What you say makes a lot of sense on paper, but my husband has low T. It was tested at the doctor's suggestion because he's 50 and has diabetes and night sweats. But he just about finds it impossible to cry, even with more than sufficient reason such as when someone close to him dies. With him, it's that matter of having had it beat out of him, nothing to do with testosterone. He'll say that himself. I don't know about the T levels of the deceased past husband who cried excessively even in my own opinion. He was never tested.
As for women saying they find it attractive when a man cries, but also talking about it making them feel uncomfortable, well, when my past husband cried in public just because someone had criticized him, yes, you'd better believe that made me uncomfortable. But not just because he was crying. What I didn't like about it was that he didn't have enough control to get out of there first and go somewhere private if he had to cry. Getting back to that urination analogy, I would feel the same if he had a defective bladder but refused to wear protection. It would be unreasonable to be angry with him simply for having an accident, because he can't help that. But yes, especially if it consistently happened in public, I would be mad at him for not taking precautions when he knows he has that problem.
But that hypermacho attitude of "Crying is for women and wimps. I never cry because I'm a man," well, I find that disgusting. My now-and-forever husband, as emotionally closed off as he is, when he cried over his cat dying, I have never loved him more than I did at that moment. Was that maybe because it was so out of character for him? It did surprise me, because he hadn't cried over his human relatives. When his uncle died, I cried but he didn't. But he is not hypermacho in other ways; witness the fact that his beloved pet was a cat, not a rottweiler or a pit bull.