I am in a committed relationship with a woman. We have been involved since last January, and she has lived with me since a year ago. She was only working part time then, and taking one class in school. In February of this year she quit her job, and since then I have been supporting her. I have told her repeatedly that I cannot handle the stress of being the sole bread winner [I have PTSD, no health insurance, and am barely functioning as it is....]. She has not even had a job interview and rarely looks for work. I put my foot down and told her she needed to take on half of the household responsibilities. She usually lapses in doing these things and then I pick up the slack....feeling like a martyr again. I hate that in myself!! I have tried to break up with her numerous times, but she refuses to leave the house we rent, and I just don't have the energy to do anything about it. I have given her ultimatums [get a job in 60 days or else....?] but the time comes and goes. Oh, when she was working part time, all of her income went to pay for her schooling.

I do love her, but I also feel used. She does laundry, but I have told her I didn't sign up for a housewife. I wanted a partner. Today, yet again, we have come to fussing with each other because she isn't doing her 1/2 of the household stuff, and she still does not have ANY income.

My Therapist says I'm in an addictive relationship that is re-traumatizing me. I feel ashamed and embarrassed that I cannot support us both, but I also feel like I shouldn't have to support her. If she was independent of me financially, I might not be in this relationship.

I feel really stupid, sad, and depressed.
Camel