My biggest fears is him breaking up with me afterward, abandonment. I know it's normal for people to have more than one partner, but I can't wrap my head around it. I just want a really meaningful relationship established before I have sex. I am also worried that my fantasies are too large to really fulfill. Not just my kinky fantasies, just my expectations of how sex should go. Like, first we get naked, preferably in the shower. But I think if he were to wrap his body around me I'd freak out that his junk is touching me. It's just too scary to think about right now. Let's just stick to fantasies.