WrongEverything, I'm only here from time to time and don't really know anyone, but I can remember responding to you before. I don't remember the details, but I remember seeing myself in your thoughts. Myself about ten years ago. Impatient does suck and no you don't want to go there unless you really need to. But even if/when that happens, you need at least one support person. Opening up to that person takes courage and humility. Maybe it is a burden on them, but who cares?!? We all burden one another sooner or later. That's what friends and family are for. It's ok, and you'll be ok and so will they.

Impatient is not your only option. There are intensive outpatient programs that can be immensely helpful too. Check into it. And if it costs you money, it costs you money. So what. Money can be paid off over time. Time lost feeling this way is both time and money lost forever.

And stop it with the gun nonsense. Don't buy a gun and don't be near one. The end. PM me anytime. Like I said, I feel ya. Just know you aren't alone and it gets brighter.