Sometimes those of us who know our boundaries are not strong enough in some situations need to trust ourselves when we believe our boundaries ARE being crossed, as you say you feel your t is doing. We have to avoid continually questioning whether it's our fault that we aren't assertive enough about our boundaries. I'm not sure if that's the case with you or not. But if you are seriously concerned that your boundaries are being crossed, it's understandable that you might not want to lay all your cards on the table and openly say so to your t, since that would clue her in so she could manipulate you in another way.

Did she explicitly tell you she does not know your ex-gf and your ex-t? If she did say that, that's lying and she isn't trustworthy. I think in a couple of your posts here, you said she did explicitly state that. If she just neglected to tell you she knows them, that might be different.

I agree with Sunrise, the exercise where she got in your face seems inappropriate. I think it seems manipulative and aggressive. It's almost never appropriate to get in someone's face. The t shouldn't be intentionally doing things to cross your boundaries to test you or teach you. She could teach you in much more caring and considerate ways. She is teaching you the opposite if she's trying to get you to trust her yet doing things she knows are likely to violate most people's boundaries.

Do you live in a small town where a lot of people know each other? Do you have many other choices for therapists? Both of those things might make it more difficult if your ex-t is likely to know a lot of people you know and if there aren't a lot of therapists who are comfortable discussing lesbian issues in your town. I probably don't need to tell you that's more difficult if it's the case. I brought it up in case it helps other people on here understand the situation.

My strongest sense of your situation is that you have felt your boundaries are being crossed in a number of ways for a while. Even if there are ways to understand the therapist's behavior as legitimate (and I'm really not sure there are), her style is pushy enough that you don't feel comfortable to talk openly about a lot of your feelings, so she may not be a sensitive enough therapist for you. I think if there was a small disconnect between her style and your level of comfort, maybe you could learn to assert more boundaries with people who have more aggressive personalities like her, but it sounds more like a big gulf than a small disconnect.