Hi, I have been struggling with bipolar I. I was diagnosed about 10 years ago and am having a really hard time. I have tried different meds and have only come close to being somewhat stable. the last 2 years i once again got my life together and things where better then they had been years. Unfortunately it didn't last, I did what i always do, I completely ripped my life to shreds. I lost my mom to cancer, a wonderful job, a great apartment, my vehicle a few good friends and now my boyfriend of almost 3 years. My ex loves me but can't handle my ups and downs and he can't handle the stress and worry anymore. I am taking his advise and trying to get help in other ways a long with my current meds. I have been spiraling out of control for months now and am trying to stop be fore i free fall to the point of no return. I am new to using forums so please if anyone has suggestions or can direct me on how to best use or share using the forum i would greatly appreciate it. I want to stop suffering from bipolar disorder and depression and learn to live and be happy. One thing i have started is keeping a journal and i also have a FaceBook page with daily posts of how i am feeling, what it is like to be bipolar and how it is or has affected me, my life, relationships and those around me. To me these are very little steps in the right direction and i am looking for help.