I was diagnosed BP NOS then BP1 "mixed-severe" a month later in another inpatient hospital, both of which were sham diagnoses made without any real evaluation or in depth discussion. Complete BS.

It's been two weeks since I got the referral for both the test and therapy, no one has called to schedule them yet.

I contradict myself a lot because I think every opinion and subjective experience I have is fake or wrong. My mood changes rapidly and sometimes my attitude towards certain things changes (I'm bipolar, no I'm borderline with delusions, no I'm just looking for attention and for a diagnosis to call mine, all therapists and pdocs are incompetent or too biased or incompatible with me or will misinterpret everything I say, or I'll be unable to not lie to them.....)

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Originally Posted by ultramar I would keep a mood chart, try to be as accurate as possible, in preparation for the evaluation which will probably give you some answers.

Too inconsistent and I don't trust myself.

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Originally Posted by ultramar Have any meds or therapy helped you thus far?

Nope. Nothing at all. The meds target different symptoms than what I seem to struggle most with, and therapy has gone no where. 10 plus sessions with one guy when I was 16 and I was in a turtle shell until I stopped seeing him altogether. Same thing with all other therapists. I also think therapy is just going to keep me anchored into a negative mind set. I always pull through by myself and with no meds. I often think medication and therapy has been damaging to me because I've been dragged through it since I was 11 years old, and it's always been a negative experience for me. I usually don't want to get better by the time I'm involved with these things. The hole process is a major source of stress and triggers me. Even taking meds makes me emotionally unstable and disgusted with myself.