I think... That there is a lot of controversy as to how things are supposed to go...

Is your discomfort about feeling vulnerable? To feel attached can be scary because one is trusting the person and if one has been hurt by people you have attached to in the past...

Therapy is about you. Focusing on you and your needs and what is best for you etc. Family can be harder because they have needs too and sometimes we need to set aside our needs for their needs... I think it is understandable that someone would like seeing their t because it is all about your needs...

I think working through the feelings is about... Being able to grieve for past hurts / needs not being met. To experience attachment with t and for it to become secure... To be able to internalise the caring and regard and develop an internal representation of it so you are better able to feel kindly towards yourself and self soothe and have this positive regard to other people and the world in general. I don't think that rationally knowing about where the feelings are coming from takes the power away but it can help to understand that the feelings are understandable. I think the process is what helps.

I tried to read up on stuff so I could fix myself because I was having trouble finding a t. Reading helped. But rational knowledge is one thing and emotional experience can be quite another...