Yeah... I get it.

Can you toss out all the OTC painkillers? Do you work? If so - do you work somewhere that has a private locker-drawer thingy that you could lock them all in until the urge passes?

And you can still ask your boyfriend. Just go "Look, I know you might not get it, but I've got some rather stupid thoughts in my head. Can you babysit this bag of pills for me until I ask for them back? I'll need to get enough for a day's supply of X,Y, Z, but that's it."

Of course, that probably depends on what he already knows. Does he know about the bipolar? If he does - just let him know that you're having impulses that aren't very positive ones and you're just eliminating the opportunity to follow through on it. I think he'll be able to understand that?

(and I totally get the worry about being judged and whatnot... most of my latest posts/updates about myself have been the result of friends really not treating me very respectfully as they seem to think it's perfectly alright to talk about me and every single thing I divulge to one of them...)