Hello there....

Don't know if this helps or not but I really can relate. The older I get the more I realize something and maybe (just maybe) you could be doing the same thing.

I realize the patterns in my life and although I don't want to repeat them, it comes very naturally - like breathing.

If we put too much into making something work, the anwer is - it's work! I have a concept in my head and heart about how something should work - how relationships should be and what I expect from them so instead of just taking part in somthing and enjoying it, I (without intent) have an agenda of how things should be - how it appears.

Maybe ending the relationship can be a good thing. Maybe it's time to figure out who you are and spend some time just enjoying your own company! I've started to make a list at the end of each day of things I saw or took part in that made a difference - however small it might be. What it does for me is to help me focus on the good. Then I bask in it for awhile - enjoy it.

I only give myself one day a week to make a list of the things I wish would change in my life and as soon as I make the list, I do something most people may find a little odd but it works. I say, "If I was giving advice to someone I love on how to change this, what would I tell them?" The reason why my advice is to someone else is because I'm really good at trying to help others - not myself.

I hope your journey through everything you experience from this day forward is a life lesson. Namaste