I am sorry your mom is that way. My parents were also very controlling - they have mellowed in their old age but they can still be very controlling. I moved out of the house and seperated from my parents and to a small extent my siblings when I was in my early 20s. It was difficult but also a great relief. Several years afterwards I was able to be around my family without getting tangle in the control game as my siblings were. My sisters are still tangled up with the folks and they never make a move without clearing it with them.

I don't know if the way I broke away was the best way but that is what I did. I don't get money assistance like my siblings but I do have my freedom. My folks visit often now, especially since my children were born. And we have a much better relationship then years past. I think they know better then to pull any control games with me - and I actually think they are OK with that. I know that I'm glad to be "untangled".

Do what is best for you - perhaps a cold turkey break is not for you. It would help you out though, if you can put some boundaries around them. Hope something works out for you.

peanuts