just got some gift cards from family (note, that's husband's family) with the premise that we should get some nice fun stuff for ourselves and the kids. i hate gift cards like that (they're to walmart) because i never know what to get other than essentials like food, diapers and toilet paper. i posted about it, like an idiot, on facebook, and a bunch of women from my hometown posted, saying that i shouldn't spend it on anything but essentials because if i can manage to still be able to afford the essentials without the gift cards then i shouldn't have been given the cards in the first place because i don't really deserve it.

that's basically what i got out of it, but in not so many words. idk. i'm probably reading into it a lot more than i should, but based on past experiences with these stupid women i know that's what they mean.

they pissed me off. i deleted the post with their comments. i'm so ready to move away from this place. when we move, i'm destroying all my connections. nobody cares anyway. no one should, i guess. my own parents don't, why should anyone else.

so yeah...i'm not supposed to try to feel better. i think i'm going to stay home from work today. i haven't felt right in a few days now. my T is out of town so no therapy for three weeks. very stressed out. i just want to die. or at least go into a coma without life support. i need to write out a will. i haven't felt right for a while now...