I think in our culture we tell boys that it isn't okay to cry. To throw some dirt on it and move on. We say crying doesn't solve anything. At least that is how I was raised. I think this is why a lot of men react in anger more often than sadness or tears. I think we have all seen some man get bad news and start cussing or throwing things. It is just a react to the feeling and trying to express them in a way they were taught.

Myself, I was never comforted when I cried. Not that my dad didn't care, but I think he was trying to say that crying was appropiate for whatever was going on. Before long I quit crying, well I quit showing a lot of emmotions when bad stuff happens. I just freeze up and don't feel anything. I remember when I was told my dad died. I was at my uncle's house and I got the call. Afterwards I just sad there. I think I felt sad, but I don't recall feeling much. Just an emptiness and void of emotions.

Maybe this is a product of upbringing or maybe it is just my own mental issues. I think if I could just cried I would have processed it better. The grief just got added on to the depression and misery I was already trying to hide and pretend wasn't there. Eventually all of that emotion came out as sadness, self hate, depression, withdrawing and a lot of punishment I did to myself because I didn't know how to process things.

Our society wants men to be tough and take it on the chin and keep fighting, but is that better than sheding a few tears and acknowledging tragedies in life. I think if some men could process emotions we would have less suicides, less alcoholism, and maybe some happier people that can get over things in thier lives. My brother is the oposite of me. I view myself as caring, compasionate, maybe too self sacrificing for others. He is child like, self centered, lashes out with anger at everything, takes the easy way out.

He has what i I would call the typical macho reaction to most things. Myself I would say I am stoic on the surface. Deep down in is a flood of emmotions that I don't know how to let out.