what i wrote was a paraphrase. i don't know these people well enough to know if they'd feel like they deserved it. i know my parents would, though. i'm probably projecting what i think my parents would say into what i got out of what those other people were saying. and yes, i hate people like that too.

i just want to feel okay about wanting to use the money given to me to help me cope with my weight gain from the kids. part of me says it's okay, i should use it to get something nice like my in-laws intended, but another part of me says that i'm being stupid and i shouldn't buy anything because it wouldn't look good on me anyway.

today's one of my down days, apparently. now i can't decide if i want to call in to work. no one up there knows i have any real problems, and i'm the only cashier, for some stupid reason.