Yeah I agree that you shouldn't spend on essentials but I understand how you're thinking. :/ I'm not that way too much, as if I get any kind of extra cash I can't bring myself to use it for essentials unless I have to.

As for the people that pissed you off. Think of it this way, it's not that they wanted to piss you off or think that you don't deserve it, but that maybe they don't have a good way with words and you've been triggered. Thing is, we have a tendency to not like it when people say something contrary to how we're feeling. Hey it's natural, most of us have been talked out of feeling like we do for years and we're sick of that right? So them telling you you shouldn't do that is like them not understanding or accepting how you feel. That's not at all what they were thinking. They may not have gotten the gist of what you were saying and maybe even had good intentions trying to give you the permission to treat yourself! I think that's more likely.

Try to back off for the moment but don't cut anyone off for that Not permanently...