I don't know where to put this, but because I'm so hard on myself, I figure this area is as good as any. I am viciously hard on myself at work (I am a pharmacy technician working in a mental health central fill). I went to a high school where normally good grades elsewhere put you in the idiots department there. I believe in the axiom "you need to start perfect and get better." Today in particular was awful. I found out I shipped meds to the wrong clinic because I chose to be stupid and not double check that I had the right address. No matter if it's a honest mistake, it's beyond intolerable and I'm damn lucky I didn't get fired.

Plus since we are so overwhelmed with orders, we've been behind getting patients their meds out. That means lots of calls and looking for scripts, taking lots of time. Clinic nurses get pissed at me and rightfully so. They shouldn't care that I've only been there for two months, all that matters is that they don't have meds for their patients because I'm a cretin and can't get them their answers instantly. It's grinding on me big time. ONE mistake in most fields is a million too many, here it's a trillion too many. All errors are avoidable, I just need to learn to be more perfect and do it faster.

Sorry for the rant, I'm just struggling mightily. I feel like I am PERSONALLY responsible for depriving these patients of likely essential medicines (I've had more than one nurse hold me PERSONALLY accountable for screwing patients over).