So here I am....at a huge fork in the road... I have to choose whether or not to try to keep my family.
On one hand if they stay I get to see my kids everyday and have that, but I know that I am just starting the DBT therapy and I don't know how quickly or how much effort I will put into this.
On the other hand if I let them go. I know that I won't hurt them anymore and they will have a chance at a better life than what I will be able to give them now. I will miss them though terribly.

Today when I lied to my family again and that was the last straw... I didn't know what to do. I thought this was just like before where they would complain but nothing would happen. They were just trying to push me. That's what I thought. Now though they are buying tickets back to Japan and I don't know what to do. There are so many things that I want to do but I don't know what to pick. I can sing in the airport and confess and swear that I will be different, or I can tell them that I agree. That I can't tell them things will be better soon and that they need to protect themselves.

I love my family, but I keep hurting them with my lies and my horrible ways. I don't know what the right thing to do is and I need help. I have put my family through six years of hell and for some stupid reason I thought that I could keep doing it.
Now I don't know what I am feeling, my insides are turning inside out and I don't know what to do or if I am making this decision correctly. Please help and give me advice. Even if it's just telling me that I am stupid.